some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”
wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”
"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"
I feel like I have been waiting for this my entire life
I just fell out of my chair.
“It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to other men like me,” he continued. “Having to live with society’s expectations that I accept women just the way they are takes an enormous toll.”
this whole article is gold
i think we all know this one person…
I FUCKING HATE THIS ONE PERSON
"Get in the car princess, daddy’s taking you shopping."
"Daddy’s has to work hard today so he can spoil you later."
"That’s right baby doll, swing the mallet just like daddy showed you."
"I’m in a rush little one, whatever you want just charge it to daddy’s credit card."
sorta wanna die sorta wanna kiss you sorta wanna get my shit together sorta wanna lose twenty pounds in a month??
i can’t believe 2012 is fucking dead
i told you dead and i are just friends
wow what the hell asshole i thought i meant something to you
I Kind Of Want To Change My URL but I Am Attached To The One I Have: An Autobiography
"animated tv shows for adults can’t really be funny unless they’re offensive, it’s called satire!"
We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.
If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t.
Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations
Except in the universe where it does
i’m having an aneurysm
it’s 2014 why haven’t everyone accepted that some girls likes girls and some boys likes boys?